which instead of merrily counting down happily the remaining 6 days before I head off for my south american adventure, it is instead:
a) pondering whether one or the other of my parents might manage to die while i'm gone and whether they would tell me and what i would do if i was or wasn't told about this while i'm mid trip, assuming any one would even be able to get a message to me while i'm using my Shewee on the Inca Trail
b) wondering if there's any point packing when my luggage may never make it out of Heathrow. and wondering why that makes me feel more than a little freaked out.
c) just generally being an underprepared grumpypotamus.
Which is quite rude of me really when i have to much to be thankful for.
I spent most of the morning in bed watching Battlestar Galactica. it's the best show ever. I appreciate every chance I get to loiter under the duvet more than you know.
I accidentally read the last Rebus novel (Ian Rankin, Scottish crime writer, writing about DI Rebus, who is to detection what House is to medicine) before I've actually read the others.
What can I tell you? My motives were pure - I read like some people breathe. As the actual word sucks more, I hide in the worlds of others. I'm mildly researching for my book (yada yada, believe it when you see it) but mostly i'm enjoying one of the best talents there is.
In Shadowlands the film, one of the characters says 'We read to know we're not not alone'.
But mostly I was talking about murder-death-kill fiction with the most honey guy and he really likes Rankin and then I saw him on TV talking ( Rankin, not the honey guy) talking about how Val McDermid and Karin Slaughter get away with a more graphic level of sexualised violence because they're lesbians (this is a paraphrasing of his essential argument and the nitty gritty was a bit more involved - it did smack a little of sour grapes which ought to be WAY beneath an author who's sold as many books as he has but there we go).
Anyhoo, the next time i was in the library, Rankin fair jumped off the shelves.
Along with 2 large print Nora Roberts but then I never said I did high brow reading. I do sometimes.
I've generally got something Spanish in my reading pile. Learner books. My spanish reading is alright at this stage but my pronounciation is fairly excruciating.
Here's hoping Peru knocks the sharp edges off.
But anyway, my cold and generally status as a wobbly planetoid and system upset from taking the pill continuously is currently twisting my mellow.
This too shall pass. I'll be back to my perky Disney self. LAughing it all off. Making flippant in the face of seriousness.
Finding three good things in every day and enjoying the 'my darling' from the honey guy.
The stack of birthday cards that have arrived for me so that I get 'em before I leave.
I like being loved.
So here's some for you
because love is something when you give it away ;o)