the squeamish better squip this post. Go to the Richard one instead

Here are are some words for medical spelling bee:

Dysmenorrhea
It's diagnosed when uterine pain is so severe as to limit normal activities, or require medication

Menorrhagia
It's abnormally heavy and prolonged menstruation

Aren't you glad we're sharing?

This leads to:
Anemia
which causes shortness of breath, tiredness, weakness, tingling and numbness in fingers and toes, headaches, depression, becoming cold more easily, and poor concentration

[So there we go you see, i'm not just a lazy git, there is a reason that i've got the attention span of a gnat, pins and needles in my hands, low will to live and 18 jumpers on.]

All of these are as a result of:

Endometriosis
Condition when cells like the ones in the womb lining (uterus) are found elsewhere in the body.

Here's how it works:
Your hormones stimulate the misplaced cells. They grow, then break down and bleed.

This is internal bleeding - a period that can't leave your body because it's not in the right place.

This leads to inflammation, pain which technically should be a much bigger and harder to spell word, considering its impact, and the formation of scar tissue, adhesions.

I am from a family of excellent scar-ers. Why between us we have the Sistine Chapel of scars. Alas, mine are only juniors in the field. My dad's scar tissue is actually killing him by suffocating him to death, as discussed in other blogs.

Any way, a few more for this frivilous lexicon:

Endometriosis is a common finding in women with infertility
Conversely, infertility is a common finding in women with chronic endometriosis.
What a clever 'condition'.
First it giveth (intense pain),
then it taketh away (the baby making ability that menstruation is normally indicative of).
How cyclical of it. Neat. Ironic in an Alanis Morisette-y kind of way.

Endometrial tissue in the ovary can form cysts, called ‘chocolate cysts’ because of their appearance.
They are not at all chocolatey. What a con. It's actually old blood. Let's not think about that. Or how long it might have been there.
Or how when they burst you may pass out on your own living room floor.
which is always nice because then on top of being in agony, you can wet yourself and get some quality bruises.

But again, i'm off topic. To continue.
Also leads to:

• chronic pelvic pain - check
• dyspareunia - I don't have this one, that i'm aware of but then i'm not in a relationship so maybe...
• dyschezia - check
  dysuria - sometimes

A few other endearing side effects are:

• nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea—particularly just prior to or during period
• frequent menses flow or short menstrual cycle
• heavy or long menstrual periods
• mood swings and fatigue
• gastrointestinal symptoms that mimic irritable bowel syndrome

When scar tissue sticks your internal organs together, wackiness ensues, believe you me.

Not to be hysterical about this, but a hysterectomy is a form of treatment.

After all, what's my womb done for me lately?

You have, dear reader, read me complain about endo before.

I try to spare you tales of how I bleed so heavily that it runs down my legs past the super tampax to pool on the floor and other such tales from the crypt.

But this weekend it nobbled me and i know that i'm going to have to get back on the bus and play nicely and see the doctor and get something done.

And I'm scared. I don't trust doctors, I'm unconvinced about medicine right now what with the abject lack of being able to do anything tangible for my dad and I HATE hospitals with a fiery passion. THey creep me out. AS does calling pain neuralgia and the lack of putting things in terms you can understand.

I don't need another thing to think about right now. i haven't got the energy.

And yet here I am. I'm blessed. I'm sat in one of the world's leading capital cities. I've been playing in the sunshine on the Southbank today - yes I've been clenching my pelvic floor the whole walk and I had about 4 santiary towels strategically positioned in my pants but I was walking on my own two legs.

Life eh, it kind of gets you sometimes.