I know you have a lot of strength left...
I should be crying but I just can't let it go
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
All the things I should have said that never said
All the things I could have done that I never did
All the things I could have given that I didn't
Oh darling, make it go
Make it go away
I'm borrowing from Kate Bush because words begin to fail me.
But hey that's not the only thing that's failed me this year so I suppose I was bound to join in at some point.
Talking of failure, pulmonary fibrosis means that oxygen is failing to circulate my dad's body.
So it's two condensers now and hi-flow all the day long
A constant white noise and blowing in your face.
and it needs a face mask so there's now a layer of medical plastic between him the world.
And all ambient noises are increased because oxygen condensers don't hide their light under a bushel, to make a visual thing out of what is actually audible.
But as I said words fail me.