flat. like a thing that's been steamrollered on a cartoon

i hate feeling flat coz it's dull for me and it makes for dull listening.

but i'd quite like to cry about the fact that my dad is suffocating by degrees and pretty much all that's left in the box right now is hope and a mighty degree of the Ford stubborness.

i would quite like to lose it but i won't because i don't really have anyone to lose it to. my mum? well no coz she's copping the brunt of how my dad feels about it.
i'm sibling less. My grand parents shuffled off yonks ago. I don't have a partner and any family members i'm close enough to to broach it with are quite far away and realistically sobbling at one another down the phone might be momentarily cathartic but isn't really going to help anyone.
so instead i went to watch PS I Love YOu. this had 4 main benefits:
1) Gerard Butler - just looking at him is very life affirming to me
2) Jeffrey Dean Morgan - thank the lord that the rest of the female world who don't watch Supernatural will now know who i mean
3) Harry Connick - can never figure out if i quite fancy him or not. I think it's his use of the term 'squirrel covers' in Copycat that puts me off. I LOVE him in Hope Floats.
4) Fabulous for crying on your own in the dark. it was nearly endless and because there was a loose light hearted plot, i couldnt' get caught up in my own flight of fancy over much.

All that crying on your own in the cinema in the dark really lacks is a pair of arms for that post sob cuddle. but hey. life isn't perfect, or there'd be no need to cry.