Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Benchmarking your life

It comes to something when 'legendary swordsman' bed hopper , well known reformed heroin addict and top comedy performer Russell Brand, can get himself into a relationship, while some of us remain as single as ever. It may however be commentary on how ladies like to be the one to reform a rogue, or equally, a comment on that fact that anyone famous can have anyone they like at any time.

My housemate says it's because i'm afraid of commitment.
Well, actually, that nugget of insight came after the bit where he said I'm afraid to grow up because it might imply that i'm at a life stage where I have to commit.

I should perhaps reinforce his impression of me by stating that:

a) I haven't done any food shopping for at least 2 weeks
b) I haven't checked the balance of my bank account for the last 2 months coz i'm sure i'm overdrawn
c) I had 2 scoops of icecream for my dinner last night - one of pineapple and one of peppermint. All thoughts of dinner went clean out of my head and i woke up puzzled about being ravenous.

He was in an advice giving mood yesterday.

But, thanks to him, my CV is now the conventional 2 pages long and lots more targeted.

And he is partly right.

I don't like the idea of some of the things relationships require.
i don't want to put my eggs in someone else's basket, because inevitably, they'll drop them.
I'm not brilliant at leaning on people.
I fracking hate weakness.
I guess it's pretty telling that i see investing emotionally in someone beyond platatonic friendship as weakness.

Welcome to my issues.
At present I've got a lot of rage about things that I cannot influence at all and it's heightened my sense of injustice about the world.
I may just have to give the boxing classes a go soon.

In the meantime, thanks again to all those who put on Canada Rocks in TRafalgar Square - photos will follow when i'm organised enough to locate the cable for my camera!

Find the joy folks. It's there, if we just look hard enough.

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