I always thought the business of love would just take care of itself.
That it would just stumble along some how and be fine.
But that has never really happened. So then you get to some self doubts, maybe even a spot of self loathing. Some puzzlement, a fair degree of ire.
And then you adjust. And you know, your life's pretty darned tooting great. You live in a fabulous capital city, you speak some languages, you've got some excellent mates, you pay your bills, you visit some galleries, you meander about and have a laugh.
And to the right and left of you, they form into twos and settle down.
And stop hanging out with you so much. And then form into threes and hang out with you a bit less.
And that's grand and dandy and when you do hang it's a laugh and you can suddenly go and stay at people's houses without having to drink your own bodily weight in cheeky drinks and stay up til dawn.
But somehow some of the twosomes are looking down their noses at you, just a little bit.
Coz you're obviously broken and somehow rubbish, and going to be alone, alone, ALONE.
And that's that.
What I don't really get is why if I can be happy for people who are on a different path to me, why can't they just let me bumble on my own way?
No one would expect me to order the same as them in a restaurant, or work exactly the same job, or wear bang on the same shoes.
So why is it offensive if I walk to the beat of my own drum for a few more years?
It makes me feel bad in a way I can't explain because i'm not unhappy with where I am.
We never know what's around the corner, I guess.
So let's make hay while the sun shines