Saturday, April 18, 2009

From The Women's Colony Readers Questions

Who would play you in Outofmytinymind the Movie?

Billie Piper (see earlier blog entries)

or Liza Tarbuck (she's splendid, particularly on the radio. You can hear her smiling)

For those unaware of her, she one hot momma, with an opinion. She's also a brunette. It's all good.

When was your birthday?
I have to BRAG!
I turned 34 in a club in Cusco, Peru on 13th October. It was hilarious.
There was lots of dancing and WAY too many 'l'et me buy you a drink's and just about enough admiring 'CHICA!'s

Are you originally from The Big Smoke, London UK?
Nope. I'm a coal miner's daughter from a mining village in North Nottinghamshire. It's in Sherwood Forest.

I came to the Smoke about 10.5 years ago, via Leeds in North Yorkshire, Lille in Northern France and Giessen in Germany.

I've hopped about all over the metropolis and am a proper north london bird, living in a borough rated as the 9th worst place in the UK to live. Lovely.

Can you tell us about the scariest moment you've experienced, and what you learned from that?
The scariest moment I've had was when our neighbour woke us up one morning at 4.30am because her husband was ill and me and my dad were trying to rescuitate him.
Ressussie Annie doll doesn't make the noises that a person does. She has no ribs that crunch and no death rattle. My dad sent me to look for the ambulance. I will always be grateful.
And sad that despite our efforts, he had left this mortal coil.

Learn what to do people and pray your time never comes.

Following hot on its heels is the fact that one of these days i'm going to say goodbye to my dad like i might never see him again, and its going to be true.
boxers or briefs?
It depends who's wearing 'em.

When you do manage to put on a pair of underwear, what color are they?
I'm not a commando kind of girl. Hence, I could probably provide underwear to the whole colony. Really. OF all kinds. For dates, for slobbing, for problem dresses, for secure time of the month moments.

Most of my underwear is black and has been since i was old enough to express a preference.
It means I can wash it all together. This is a bit of a theme throughout my capsule wardrobe.
I do have some cool patterns, spots, lace, silk.
What is the one thing absolutely guaranteed to make you laugh until you cry?
Mrs G's post about appearing knickers made me howl.
But mostly its my amazing friends and their total randomness.
WE were reduced to hysterical laughter the other day by a very unlikely shaped pudding at an indian restaurant.
And I was inordinately pleased to find that Picasso painted Kurt Cobain and it was included in the exhibit that's on at the National Gallery at the moment. The curator's are claiming it's called 'The Hippy' but i recognised his 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' top immediately.

Who do you so dislike that if you were stuck on a deserted island with him, you'd swim away and hope for the best?
Goodbye Daniel Craig. I am a great swimmer and will send a helicopter back for you.
BUT seriously,
I've had a great day and no misogynists immediately spring to mind.

I'm wondering what kinds of food do you dream about and obsess about?This varies. This morning I woke up with a yen for crumpets.

My housemate AP (boy) calls them food porn. if i put them in the kitchen unopened, he will scratch at my door til I eat two so he can have the next two.

If somebody wanted to really win you over (i.e. beg you to be their new BFF) what should they bring to your door? And does presentation matter?
I would open the door to find thin crust pizza.
Or carrot cake to rival the birthday cake they got me in Peru. It was amazing.
Do you have any tattoos?
I surely do.

How many?
I currently have 2, but they mirror one another, so they count as one.

They are at the bottom of my back, like f holes on a violin. Only a different shape.

I think my mum felt me have them done as the next time I was at her house she immediately make me show her, even though I'd never said a peep about them.

I am going to have another done soon. I know what I want and where and what colour, i just have to get off my butt about finding a good tattooist (clean, registered, professional) and getting the cashola together.
If you had to pick a work of literature to get tattooed on you, what would you get?
This one would be tough, as I'm against having words really.

But I would consider having 'I am fortune's fool' on my right forearm, on the fleshy bit.

Or even 'What news from Padua?' on my inner thigh.

Bill Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Ahh.

Are you planning on writing a book?
I have started planning a book. I'm mildly researching it, as I finish a professional qualification.
This is making me realise what a huge undertaking it might be.
But arrogantly, I will be taking it forward, giving it a shake and seeing what falls out.

I write a lot, but mostly to myself.
I used to write poetry a lot. And that's gradually coming back now. I might also look at doing something with it this summer.

What connects us all?
Sometimes, about some poeple, i feel that blood runs through our veins and that's where our similarities end. This is generally over things that I really can't grasp. Terrible acts.

We're not as good or as bad as we think we are at times. Mostly we're just people doing the best that we can.

And we need to be a little bit nicer to ourselves, to set the tone for everyone else.

Were you funny in elementary school?
I think I was probably a bit eager and easily pushed around (only child, could do it my way at home largely).

I'm pretty easy going but have strong feelings about stuff that most people are easy going, which probably didn't surface until the next level of school.

I am now the funniest girl in Europe, at times. I'm a raconteur in the flesh. it's all grist to my mill.

I would like to know what kind of music you like to rock out to.
I spend a passel of time trying to figure out if i would rather go blind or deaf. because I love music and voices so much. And background noise - waves crashing, the rumble of the bus, a crack of lightening. the noise of my own nails on the key board.

But then imagine never seeing facial expressions or paintings with their bold splashes of colour. No more Cabana boys. Condensation running down the outside of an ice cold coke.
I digress.
Rocking out. My joint favourite past time, with reading.

I love love guitars. There are two, currently v. neglected , guitars in my living room.

Here are 15 albums that are important to me to give you a taster.

1. Primal Scream - Screamadelica - so incredible live, not least how Bobbie Gillespie goes from looking like someone you'd give 50p to for a cuppa to absolute godhead seconds after hitting the stage. That night me and Lisa had taxi issues in Sheffield when we went to see them. THat night Lesley and I had swimming issues in Shepherds Bush coz the crowd totally kicked off. I could go on.

2. Levellers - Weapon Called the Word - the beginning of some cool times with some great people. Music with a message.

3. Biffy Clyro - Puzzle - Written after the death of Simon's mother. Say no more.

4. Ryan Adams - Demolition - here's a message from your lonely Friday. David Ryan Adams is important to me musically and also through his sometime blogging. He is honest and brash and a pain. And he married Mandy Moore and they look happy. Nice.

5. Josh Ritter - The Animal Years - first End of the Road festival, 'nuff said. He's very clever and humble and cheeky too.

6. Rival Schools - United By Fate - 'this is the switch, play innocent, we're innocent'

7. Graham Coxon - The Golden D - Jamie Thomas, Jamie Thomas, Jamie Thomas, Jamie Thomas. Frankly one of the greatest guitarists of the generation. And easily the one with the silliest voice. He's my all time favourite imaginary boyfriend.

8. Rent - Original Broadway Cast - sing it girl

9. The Darkness - Permission to Land - T in the Park and the flip flop march. Nice work, falsetto

10. Pixies - Doolittle

11. Mega City Four - Terribly Sorry Bob - makes me think of Sheffield Leadmill, homemade pizzas and Tom Wise

12. Wonderstuff - Hup - singing in the yard and the excellent line 'if you're going to let me down my friend, then kick me to the floor, don't let me down gently'.

13. Queens of the Stone AGe - Rated R - I got monsters, in me parasol like, innit

14. Foo Fighters- The Color and the Shape - too many reasons to number, not least of which Mr Dave Grohl. The nicest and busiest man in rock?

15. The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan - Mr. Jack. White. He is a phenomenon.

If you could only have one motto or saying, which one would it be and why?

'Strangers are exciting

Their mystery never ends

But there's nothing like looking at your own history

In the faces of your friends'

(Ani di Franco)

And if not that, what my Grandma, Hilda Patricia, once told me:

Try everything once, within in reason. Then you can do the bits you like a lot.

Thank you Houston and Good night....

Her Imperial Majesty has left the building.

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