Nobody knows the troubles I've had...

Who knew that the words 'Black Tie' were enough to strike fear into the hearts of the bold gentlemen of my acquaintance?

I think i totally freaked my Aussie mate out.
He seems to be concerned that I'll be upset that he isn't up for some black tie. Not at all. It's a big ask. it's fifty quid to get that sucker in london. I'm not crushed, which was my original fear about asking him. I'm mildly confused about that as i definitely did want to sit on his lap the other day. Perhaps that was just residual memory. He did, after all, once buy me the most amazing flowers i've ever received.

Another stellar red head is sad about being too broke to afford a tux.
He will also be out of the country, arresting a child molester. Now that's the kind of excuse I can get behind.
Big up the defender of justice, that's what I say. Even if rounding up the sickos of the world one at a time is monumentally hard work and must be soul destroying.

And clever him, for expressing regrets about missing out on me in a jessica rabbit frock, and also the festivities.

The right words. In the right order.

The fag that I have hagged to for years will be at Ascot and then flying to Greece.

So that's gone kablooie.

And my most logical girl choice (works in the industry, will know everyone, is classic on a night out) is BUSY.

Which effectively makes it look like i'm now scraping the barrel. Which i am not.

There's a host of birds I think would have an excellent time at ball. And girls will inevitably have a frock too.

I've asked Debbie Rocks.

I'll chase her at lunch. (She said yes)

If she says no then i'll try one more boy, who might possibly be able to put his tux on expenses. ( I am confident that he would've said yes too. Ah hindsight)

And then I'll give my spare ticket back. Which is the last thing I wanted to do but there you go.
i can sit with some spod. (yipee, i didn't have to. Although apparently our boss told our other colleague he'd have never offered us the tickets if he'd realised we weren't going to bring 'partners'. the words 'please spit in his soup' or something more Fight Club spring to mind.)

Then i can nip off and hang with my homies.

oh the troubles i've had.